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Barking At The Moon |
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The Unofficial Fanzine of Nottinghamshire
FC
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| THE FOOTBALLER’S ALPHABET – C & D IS FOR |
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Campo Character in northern comedy series 'Last Of The Summer Wine'. Often confused with Compo, character in northern comedy series 'Last Premiership Season Of The Bolton Wanderers'. |
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Campos, Jorge Rubber-limbed midget goalkeeper who briefly enlivened Mexican team after retirement of Hugo Sanchez. Famed for short-sleeved, hideous goalie shirts which confused officials and commentators the world over. |
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Caprice Highly-desirable model who emulated fellow animal rights beauty Brigitte Bardot by taking care of old Donkeys. |
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Careful, He's Got To Be Popular phrase used by commentators for whenever a player already on a yellow card commits the sort of foul that really should lead to between 18 months and four years in prison. Also used when player can be clearly lip-read as screaming "'You've got to be f***** joking, you c***." in the ref's face. |
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Chambers, Dmitri Notts player who thought he was a winger,
then discovered he’s actually not a bad goalkeeper. |
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Charlie Mysterious former acquaintance of Paul Merson but not of Robbie Fowler or any other footballer, of course. |
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Chesterfield Small town in Derbyshire famous for wonky spire, having FA Cup final appearance cruelly taken away from them and dodgy ground/financial dealings. |
| City Catch-all nickname for any team whose name contains the word 'City' and who are too dull to think of anything better. See Blues, The |
| Clanger, Dropped An Absolute A cringingly awful mistake, traditionally made by keepers, sometimes deciding the result of the game. See Enckelman, Peter and Barthez, Fabien. |
| Clash A match between two teams. Usually 'table-topping' |
| Cold, Couldn't Catch A Semi-amusing/semi-abusive label given to error prone/butter fingered keepers, esp those flapping at crosses. See James, Calamity; 'Dracula, We Used To Call Him...' etc and Lawroisms, inc 'Mother, He's Come Out Waving To His' |
| Cole, Andrew (nee Andy) Famously needed five chances to score. Unlike partner Yorke, Dwight. |
| Cole, Ashley Arsenal and England full-back who spends most of game falling over. Not a cheat, though, much like Emile Heskey. |
| Cole, Young Joe Performing seal of a player always referred to with prefix 'Young' or 'The New Gazza'. Now plays more like the Old Gazza. |
| Collina, Pierlugi Terrifying, bug-eyed referee who not even Roy Keane tries to mess with. Unique amongst match officials in actually being good at it. |
| Crouch, Peter Marvellously Dickensian-sounding footballer, whose great advantage is his height and whose great disadvantage is that he plays for Aston Villa. |
| Culligan, Big Bollocks. Just a rumour. No substance. |
| 'C***, Take That You' Traditional Irish greeting esp. popular in Manchester. |
| Dangerman The opposing player that Wimbledon/Leeds always tried to injure first. |
| Diabolical Favourite term of Alan Hansen when glorifying in any defensive error, always with implication that he would never have fouled up like that. See Dreadful, Dear Oh Dear et al. |
| Dickinson, Tony Nottinghamshire FC 2nd XI striker and top goalscorer, looking to emigrate to Australia to find work after threats from other players. See Wilson, Dean and Hall, Marcus |
| Dicks, Julian No-good golfer who was once a no-good footballer, too. Responsible for numerous amusing 'Dicks Out' headlines. |
| Dicko (1) - Highly regarded Notts footballer who was forced into retirement following nasty tackle last season. Hasn’t stopped him from usual fell running pursuits. |
| Dicko (2) - Highly regarded Notts Fixture Secretary, who will doubtless make better administrator than he will goalscorer. |
| Diet Introduced by Wily Continentals who, in their cunning foreign cleverness, suggested that eight pints of lager and a black pudding supper weren't the ideal matchday meal. |
| Diouf, El Hadji Liverpool's new Senegalese player bought in to challenge Emile Heskey for his position, ie falling over, lying on the floor. |
| Disorderly, Duncan Legendary Scotch striker famed for his use of the head and Anderton-esque injury problems. See You Jimmy. |
| Dogfight Any match involving a side managed by Wee Gordon Strachan. Also much-publicised falling out between Victoria Beckham and Jordan. |
| Down, Going Song performed by gloating opposition fans. Also by Stunnas in footballer Kiss And Tell stories. |
| Dracott, Nick. Sometimes referred to as Pitbull, nowadays more accurately referred to as "Pussycat". |
| Draw Formerly a simple process of picking sets of teams out of a hat. Now, an insanely complicated method, beloved by UEFA and performable only by an extremely powerful computer. |
| Dugout Mysteriously disappeared in the nineties to be replaced by the 'technical area', thus furthering the myth that there is actually some skill involved in football management aside from screaming obscenities at players, opposition, linesman, referee, crowd etc |
| Duff, Damien Tricky Irish left-winger who England would give their eye teeth for. See Giggs, Ryan and Grandparents, Surely He Must Have Some English |
| Dunne, Richard Bon viveur and Manchester City defender currently on his final, final, final warning to stop being such a total binner. |
| Dyer, Kieron Renowned film director and feminist. |
| "Dynamite In His Boots" Not too sure about this. Thought to be from Ronglish. |
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