Keep an eye out for displays
of the following..........
1
The Manchester United Virus ...
This is where your PC thinks its far superior than any other PC
and develops a memory disorder, forgetting anything that happened
before 1993.
2
The David Beckham Virus ...
This affects newer PC's mainly. The computer looks great, all the
lights are on, but nothing works.
3
The Roy Keane Virus ...
This one is particularly nasty and will throw you out of Windows
...
4
The Alex Ferguson Virus ...
The computer develops a continuous whining noise and the on screen
clock runs a lot faster or slower (depending on how your days been),
than all the other computers in the building.
5
The Fabien Barthez Virus ....
This one's not particularly harmful - but you just can't save anything.
6
The Neville Bros. Virus .....
Just when you think things can't get any worse, this one pops up
and causes a calamitous error.
7
The Ryan Giggs Virus ...
The computer develops a processor problem, whereby it thinks it's
better than it actually is. It also experiences dramatic fluctuation
in performance.
8
The Luke Chadwick Virus ....
This is a particularly ugly one.
9
The Manchester United Shirt Virus...
This one is especially hard to detect as it changes it's format
every 3 months.
10
Red Scum Virus
Very nasty. Makes you talk absolute crap for the next six months in
the hope that someone will believe you know something about football.