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Slang Alphabet

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From our street correspondent..........
1	BEER COMPASS The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how you get there, and where you've come from.
2	BEER SCOOTER The ability to get home after a night out on the booze and not remember it i.e. "I don't even remember getting home last night, I must have caught the beer scooter".
3	BOBFOC Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
4	BOILER SUIT The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and with phallus aforethought, score with a BOBFOC last night. This charge is usually brought by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub on Saturday night.
5	BONE OF CONTENTION A hard-on that causes an argument, e.g. one that arises when a man is watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.
6	BREAKING THE SEAL Your first piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
7	BRITNEY SPEARS Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".
8	BRUCE LEE Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).
9	BUNNY-BOILER An unhinged and overly possessive woman. From the rabbit boiling scene in the film "Fatal Attraction", e.g. "I don't like the look of that aeroplane blonde - could be a bunny boiler".
10	DRINK-LINK A modern term for a cash point machine (ATM). Named so because it is common to visit one before going out on the booze.
11	ETCH-A-SKETCH Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.
12	FLOGGING ON Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.
13	FREE THE TADPOLES Liberate the residents of Wank Tanks.
14	FRIGMAROLE Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.
15	F@CKSH1TF@CKSH1TF@CKSH1T The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.
16	GOING FOR A McSH1T Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McSh1t With Lies.
17	GREYHOUND A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
18	JOHNNY-NO-STARS A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staffs at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
19	MUMBLER An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc. i.e. you can see the 'lips' moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.

Barking At The Moon