Howl Left

Barking At The Moon
Howl Right
The Unofficial Fanzine of Nottinghamshire FC
  Words From The Mouth Of God
A selection of words of wisdom from "old big head" Brian Clough..........
"If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there."
On the importance of passing to feet.
"Manchester United in Brazil? I hope they all get bloody diarrhea."
On Man Utd opting-out of the FA Cup to play in the World Club Championship.
"I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball - he might grab mine."
On the influx of foreign players.
"I bet their dressing room will smell of garlic rather than liniment over the next few months."
On the number of French players at Arsenal.
"Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when you go on holiday? I haven't had fourteen pairs in my life."
On the contents of Posh Spice's missing luggage.
"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one."
Looking back at his success.
"On occasions I have been big headed. I think most people are when they get in the limelight. I call myself Big Head just to remind myself not to be."
Old Big 'Ead explains his nickname.
"At last England have appointed a manager who speaks English better than the players."
On the appointment of Sven Goran Eriksson as England manager.
"If he'd been English or Swedish, he'd have walked the England job."
On Martin O'Neill.
"Anybody who can do anything in Leicester but make a jumper has got to be a genius."
A tribute to Martin O'Neill.
"The ugliest player I ever signed was Kenny Burns."
A Clough complement for a talented player.
"Stand up straight, get your shoulders back and get your hair cut."
Advice for John McGovern at Hartlepool.
"Take your hands out of your pockets."
More advice, this time for a young Trevor Francis as he receives an award from the Master Manager.
"The Derby players have seen more of his balls than the one they're meant to be playing with."
On the streaker who appeared during Derby's game against Manchester United.
"Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes."
Reflecting on England's exit from Euro 2000.
"We talk about it for twenty minutes and then we decide I was right."
On dealing with a player who disagrees.
"I want no epitaphs of profound history and all that type of thing. I contributed - I would hope they would say that, and I would hope somebody liked me,"
On how he would like to be remembered.
"It was a crooked match and he was a crooked referee. That was a tournament we could and should have won."
On the 1984 UEFA Cup semi-final Forest lost to Anderlecht.
"I'm sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I'd want to run the show. They were shrewd, because that's exactly what I would have done."
On not getting the England manager's job.
"You don't want roast beef and Yorkshire every night and twice on Sunday."
On too much football on television.
"If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well."
On too many managers getting the boot.
"I thought it was my next door neighbour, because I think she felt that if I got something like that, I'd have to move." Guessing who nominated him for a knighthood.
"I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud."
On women's football.
''That Seaman is a handsome young man but he spends too much time looking in his mirror, rather than at the ball. You can't keep goal with hair like that."
On England goalkeeper David Seaman.
"I've missed him. He used to make me laugh. He was the best diffuser of a situation I have ever known. I hope he's alright." On the late Peter Taylor.
"He's learned more about football management than he ever imagined. Some people think you can take football boots off and put a suit on. You can't do that."
On David Platt's first season as Forest manager.
"He should guide Posh in the direction of a singing coach because she's nowhere near as good at her job as her husband." Advice for David Beckham.
"Barbara's supervising the move. She's having more extensions built than Heathrow Airport."
On moving house in Derbyshire.

The Master Manager has named Trevor Francis and Garry Birtles as the best strikers who played for him at Nottingham Forest. Cloughie was listing his Forest Dreamteam, made up of the top players who served him at the City Ground. He said: "Picking my best team used to come easy to me, but this was different. When you think of all the names who have played for Old Big 'Ead down the years, the list is almost endless."

His Dreamteam is:
Peter Shilton
Viv Anderson
Stuart Pearce
Des Walker
Kenny Burns
Roy Keane
John McGovern
Archie Gemmill
Garry Birtles
Trevor Francis
John Robertson.

Clough added: "It's that good a team my son can't get in it - and he's the second highest scorer in the history of the club. I think he's entitled to ask if there is a place for him on the bench!"

The outspoken Master Manager has described Manchester United's Roy Keane as a cross between Dracula and Al Capone, following his shocking challenge on Manchester City's Alfie Haaland. In an excellent interview in The Sun (April 27, 2001), Clough warned Sir Alex Ferguson:
"If Manchester United's manager does not sort out that lad once and for all, he runs the risk of losing his own credibility." Clough said he was staggered to hear that Sir Alex hadn't seen the incident.
"I can believe Lennox Lewis didn't see that punch coming last Sunday morning and the skipper of the Titanic had some excuse for not spotting an iceberg if it was dark. But I couldn't believe my big ears when Fergie said he hadn't seen the tackle..."
Although Old Big 'Ead respects his former player's ability, he said the challenge was one of the worst fouls he had ever seen. "As if cutting Haaland in half wasn't bad enough, Keane then swoops over him like Dracula. All he needed was the black cloak."
Clough said that eight red cards and a spell out injured had given Keane plenty of time off.
"He has had more than enough rest through suspensions alone. He has had more holidays than Judith Chalmers."
A former Forest player has revealed how he was substituted by Old Big 'Ead even before a match got underway. Larry Lloyd said it happened on a pre-season tour of America and Canada.
"We were lining up for the national anthems and I had my socks down," said Lloyd.
The referee asked him to pull them up and the big man refused. "I saw the referee go off towards the bench and a few minutes later I looked over and saw the board held up with my number on it."
Remembering the incident on Brian Tansley's Matchday Programme on BBC Radio Nottingham, Lloyd added: "I must be one of the very few people to be substituted before kick-off."
"My advice to Roy Keane is to ignore the thought that the grass is greener elsewhere because he might find the cows have crapped on it."
Brian Clough (who else?) advises Keane to stay put at Manchester United, in his own unique way.

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