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Announcements
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- "To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to
get on the second carriage, what part of 'stand clear of the doors'
don't you understand?"
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- "At Camden town station (on a crowded Saturday afternoon):
'Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the
passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off
the train first. Let the passengers off the train FIRST! Oh go
on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care, I'm
going home.
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- Driver: "I apologise for the delay leaving the station
ladies and gentlemen, this is due to a passenger masturbating
on the train at Edgware Road. Someone has activated the alarm
and he is being removed from the train.
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- "Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller
suffering from elbow and backside syndrome - not knowing his elbow
from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as
soon as I'm given any."
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- "I am sorry about the delay, apparently some nutter has
just wondered into the tunnel at Euston. We don't know when we'll
be moving again, but these people tend to come out pretty quickly...usually
in bits."
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- Please mind the closing doors..." The doors close...The
doors reopen.
"Passengers are reminded that the big red slidey things on
the side of the train are called the doors.
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