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Sid Waddell - The Wordsmith Of Darts
Some wonderful quotes from the 'King' of televised darts - Wonderful Sid Waddell	Return to Index

CLASSICAL SID

"That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus."

"When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Bristow is only 27."

"It's the nearest thing to public execution this side of Saudi Arabia."

"His physiognomy is that of a weeping Madonna."

"Eat your heart out Harold Pinter, we've got drama with a capital D in Essex."

"If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home."

SURREAL SID

"Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint."

"He's as cool as a prized marrow!"

"You couldn't get more excitement here if Elvis Presley walked in eating a chip sandwich!"

"He's playing out of his pie crust."

"He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave."

"Here's Baxter doing a cock-a-leekie soup job on Ovens!"

STRANGE SID

"The pendulum swinging back and forth like a metronome"

"His face is sagging with tension."

"The fans now, with their eyes pierced on the dart board."

"He's been burning the midnight oil at both ends."

"Bristow reasons . . . Bristow quickens ... Aaah, Bristow."

"They won't just have to play outta their skin to beat Phil Taylor. They'll have to play outta their essence!"

ARE YOU SURE SID?

"Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength."

FAVOURITE WADDELL-ISMS

"As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here."

"He is as slick as minestrone soup"

"There's no-one quicker than these two tungsten tossers..."

"There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions."

"Phil Taylor's got the consistency of a planet ... and he's in a darts orbit!"

"The atmosphere is a cross between the Munich Beer Festival and the Coliseum when the Christians were on the menu."

"It's like trying to stop a water buffalo with a pea-shooter."

"Jocky Wilson, he comes from the valleys and he's chuffing like a choo-choo train!"

"He's planting those arrows with the accuracy of a couple of inter-continental ballistic missiles."

"Bob Anderson ... looking like Lee van Cleef on a bad night!"

"Steve Beaton, he's not Adonis, he's THE donis"

"Keith Deller's not just an underdog, he's an underpuppy!"

"Big Cliff Lazarenko's idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid of something cool and fizzy."

"The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!"

"His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch."

"He's like D'Artagnan at the scissor factory."

"This lad has more checkouts than Tescos."

"They're sweating like a couple of donkeys on Blackpool Pleasure Beach"

Barking At The Moon