The fanzine brings you news from Richard 'Golden Boot' Bagust and Nick 'Don't Drop Me' Dracott as they travel the world in their non stop scouting mission looking for 'talent' for Nottinghamshire F. C.

30th July, 2001 Tokyo

I've now been in Tokyo for one week and am still wandering around like a little boy lost. My journey here was not too bad thanks to Anna sorting me out with a seat change. The twelve hour flight was made all the more pleasant by a nice Japanese girl called Norika who also assisted me in getting from the airport onto the train and then the tube. There was a big rock festival over at mount Fuji at the weekend and Travis were on my flight. I tried my luck for some free tickets as we went through immigration but they were all quite pissed and ignored me!

Tokyo is the second largest metropolis to Mexico City and seems never ending. It has 33 million people and 80000 restaurants (London has 6000 ). It's the biggest and busiest place I've ever been to that's for sure! The downside is that it is very expensive and it is easy to burn money i.e about four quid a pint!

The Japanese people are usually ridiculously polite and friendly. The tube system is incredibly efficient as it has to be or this place would grind to a huge halt. I am staying at my friend Marlon's apartment on the outskirts and unfortunately the air con isn't too clever which makes the nights quite unpleasant. When I arrived last week there were record temperatures for July and the humidity was horrible. It did cool down at the weekend though as the outskirts of a hurricane passed by the city! Today it is a mild 31 deg c.

Marlon's girlfriend Yuki has been busy arranging for her friends to show me around. Last week I visited a famous Buddist temple called Shinju-Ku and went on a rickshaw ride and a boat trip with a girl called Kayo. I have tried sightseeing on my own but tend to get quite lost! I have two more girls showing me round later this week. Have been out for quite a few meals, Japanese, Cambodian and, erm, Mos burger! Yuki had a party at her house on saturday night and I have met lots of both Marlon's and her friends.

As I am about a foot taller than the average Jop so I keep banging my head everywhere! A constant source of amusement to me is the Japanese all wear t-shirts with english slogans on which are all total nonsense!

Marion and Yuki are members of a local health club which I have been to a couple of times. I have to wear a hat in the swimming pool and many of the Japanese walk up and down the pool which has no deep end! It's very funny to watch.

Sionara Richardson.

17th August, 2001 Tokyo

I saw lots more shrines and temples and did lots of buddhist praying ( I'm not saying what for!) I went to the Sam Tokyo fish market and eat sushi for breakfast, fell victim to a con in a bar where the big bouncer from Ghana insisted I pay 250 quid for a bottle of champagne I didn't order (Merlon haggled a deal to get me out of it!)

I went to 3 big firework displays and lots of female dominated (not domination) parties, had two bizarre incidents with different Frenchmen, one who was very drunk and telling me he liked to watch them play us at rugby and scream out 'I fuck the English!' and another who seemed to stalk me and his girlfriend who I had borrowed for the day as a guide!

A big highlight was a visit to a Japanese baseball game where we watched the Yakult Swallows defeat the Nagoya Dragons 2-1 and lots of Japanese people sung songs and waved little green umbrellas. I paid over a tenner for a visit to the flicks with 2 women. We saw Planet of the Apes with Japanese subtitles! Which reminds me the Statue of Liberty is in Tokyo and I have a picture of it to prove it!

I had a ride on the back of a motorbike with Gerry the Yank through the busy streets and I crooned the Karooke into the small hours till my throat was sore! On my last day I bathed naked with some Japanese men in a hot spring bath which was very hot and very weird!

On the whole I spend a small fortune but it was a fantastic experience and I owe a lot to my hosts MarIon and Yuki for their kind hospitality and matchmaking attempts!!!