Back on board we made for Whitehaven beach.

There, we were equipped with stinger suits. We needed these suits for two reasons, firstly to avoid contact with the horrid creatures, and secondly to look like extras from Star Trek. I was decked out in blue (Spock, Dr McCoy, you know high rank), whilst Rich was handed a grey number (Engineer Scotty's grease monkey).

I have to say that looking like an extra from Star Trek, finding myself in a strange sandy environment and being told to beware nasty things that may kill me, filled me with a sense of impending doom. Everyone knows what happens to extras from Star Trek, don't they ? Yes, that's right, they get bumped off within the first 10 minutes!

Even more worrying was that, although we had a fair idea they were Jellyfish, we had no idea what they looked like. As Billy Connolly said when told to beware of Stingers " I don't know if they come out of the sea, drop out of the sky, or arrive in fucking taxi's, but I was being ware ! ".

Also that if you are stung " Douse the wound liberally with vinegar ".
WHO GOES SWIMMING WITH A BOTTLE OF FUCKING VINEGAR! As it turns out, we did not get stung, we all bottled it, and had a game of beach footy instead. Flung into action as a makeshift centre I scored a brace within a minute to turn around a
3-2 deficit . What's wrong with goal hanging anyway, as Tim will quite rightly tell you, on the strength of some of last seasons performances, defending is the last place I should be at the moment ! At that point I returned to defensive duties, and we promptly lost 5-4 . Rich was called into action as a second half substitute, where his most telling contribution was to head a ball clear with his sunglasses on, resulting in a 1 cm gash across his conk!

After another couple of days mapping the coastline, charting our course, jibing, tacking, hoisting and setting, we are a right proper pair of Jolly Jack Tars, and no mistake ! Although it is now gone, I had cultivated a very handsome pointy beard, and Rich has taken to wearing a pirate's (the i and the e are silent in this case) bandana!

We have in the last week been cowboys and sailors, Rich is contemplating becoming a copper on his return, whilst I may enter the construction industry. I hope that Sydney festival hasn't rubbed off on us, anyway must go as were looking for a hostel as we're in a new town.

Splice the mainbrace, Nick