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Confessions Of A Tour Organiser
Or is that "Delusions - A Greek Tragedy!!"	Return to Previous Page

Our ‘Special’ correspondant, Jamie Regan reports.....

Ithought you might want to be in on a conversation I had with Nick at the weekend. It went something like this: J: "Hi, Nick. How's it going?"

N: "Oh, you know. Hectic. I've been quite busy recently. I had to take my mum shopping in Sainsbury's yesterday. That meant getting up early so that we could get done and back home before the Simpson's started."

J: "Bummer."

N: "I know. She's a b*tch. She drags me out of bed on a Thursday, of all days, makes me push the trolley round for an hour and a half and then moans because I'm putting stuff in the trolley that I need."

J: "Stuff that you need?"

N: "Yeah. Beer, pizza, cakes, pies, beer, bread, burgers, beer, puddings and low fat spread."

J: "Oh, right. So you haven't got a job yet."

N: "I'm waiting to hear from a few people. I did have a second interview at Peugeot, but I think I talked them out of it by telling them it would be a waste of time to open this new division and employ me to run it. Close one that. I never heard from them, but I still didn't bother to chase them, even though in theory they could have sent me a letter offering me a job which got lost in the post. I'm keeping my options open."

J: "So what are you doing with yourself then?"

N: " Well, I've been charged with organising this tour to Edinburgh. No one else in the club can be bothered to do it, so I volunteered. At least I get to go for free, in reward for all the effort I'm putting in."

J: "Is this same tour that I've organised accommodation for? The same one that I've organised 2 fixtures for? The same one that Bob has organised transport for?"

N: "Yeah. That's the one."

J: "So what have you actually 'organised', then?"

N: "Well, someone’s got to be a liaison between functions and collect the money from all the people that want to go."

J: "So who's actually going then, Nick?"

N: "Oh, we'll get 24, easy."

J: "Yeah but who's actually said 'Yes, I want to go'?"

N: " Well, I haven't asked anyone yet. But we'll get 24."

J: "So why haven't you asked anyone yet?"

N: " I haven't been training have I. I'm injured."

J: "Injured? What's wrong?"

N: "Ha ha. You won't believe this. But, what happened was. I was in Sainsbury's with my mum, blah, blah, blah, blah, pushing a trolley, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, calf muscle spasm, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, really embarrassing, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But I should be alright for next week."

J: "What. Alright for training next week or shopping?"

N: "Both."

J: "So when are you going to start collecting money from people."

N: "I need to speak to Chris about that."

J: "JESUS, Nick. You're f*cking useless! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING IT. GET OFF YOUR FAT 4RSE AND GET IT DONE!"

N: "I am, I am. Calm down!"

J: "And while we're on the subject, why is your arse so fat?"

N: " I don't know. I think I have some kind of blood disorder."

J: "Oh, f*ck off!"

Barking At The Moon