Howl Left

Barking At The Moon
Howl Right
The Unofficial Fanzine of Nottinghamshire FC

Your Guide To A Nite Out In Mansfield

By our Special Correspondent - Stuart 'Sofa Bed' Stubbings

'So you want a nite out in the entertainment capital of Europe? Then I'm your man."

Stuart's the name, finding the toilet's my game.
Here's a list of the essential things you need for a 'blinding' night out in North Notts .....

  • Lots of money to spend on beer.
  • Simple clothes (like me, you'll have little chance of pulling).
  • A pair of trousers that pull down easily.
  • A pair of padded knee protectors to help prevent injury when you fall out of taxis.
  • One of Swinno's porno tapes.
  • A box of tissues.

    Simple knowledge of the difference between this .... Toilet - For those who don't know

And this ..........Settee - NOT a toilet
Step One
Go out with the lads and get completely battered.
Step Two
Get a taxi back to Mitch's house and fall out when you arrive, injuring yourself and making your appearance on the following Saturday doubtful.
Step Three
Watch one of Swinno's pornos with Bob Johnson. Tissues
Step Four
Fall asleep on the floor with your trousers round your ankles only to be found by your 'mates' in the small hours of the morning.
Step Five
Wake up in the middle of the night and use the sofa bed in your friend's house as a toilet. Carefully lift the seat/cushion up as you have such exquisite manners, before relieving yourself on the rest of it.
Step Six
Arise next morning denying everything 'cos you can't remember what you did anyway.

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